None of us ever became a better person by someone judging us or thinking we need to be something other than who we are. Think of the most important people to you in your life. It's their kindness that draws us back to them. There is so much within us that we want to just cast away. It's hard to imagine that those are parts of us that are capable of enhancing who we are. I'm a firm believer that our greatest weakness or struggle has the opportunity to be our greatest strength. This level of acceptance can be very turbulent though as it activates our anxiety towards change and the unknownness of who we might be and want to push the other, me, away. I offer you a space of complete and deep acceptance of whatever is going on in your life.
Few things are more relieving than being able to be ourselves and know we are safe and accepted. It begs that elusive question, "Who are you?" and forces us to get back in touch with whatever it is we are thinking or feeling. Amidst our feelings of anxiety, grief, psychosis, or trauma we can experience authenticity and aliveness. Because, in some way, our outer experience is the same as our inner experience. Carl Rogers called it congruence. The courageous act of taking down the facades and saying to yourself, "This is me." Mmmm, it's the beginning of so much transformation within your life. It is my goal to be a person with you as much as I can amidst what is needed within our relationship. In time, as others have, you'll find yourself being more comfortable within your own skin, relationships, or work. A greater sense of belonging within the world.
We all go through life holding things that affect us. The loss of a loved one, events or things said that we just cant make sense of, unquenched desire, un-fulfilled dreams, things we went through at work, or stories we were told and are now holding for others. These begin creeping into our mind and affecting our relationships, our satisfaction in life, the path were on, our work. This happens to all of us on a conscious or unconscious level and drastically effects our potential in life as beings. I try my very best to create a space that if first and foremost characterized by unconditional regard so that we can begin to bring kindness to these parts of yourself that you want relief from, or perhaps need to get back in touch with and come into new relationship with to begin moving into greater fulfillment and connection.
There is a saying in therapy that feelings never lie, but they can stand in stark contrast to what we think. I love Carl Rogers adage that feelings are selves. Said differently, parts of ourselves, an ego state, or neurological bundle within the mind. Often time it is our feelings that matter the most as we go about our lives. For example the depressed individual, who cant seem to move himself to act in life, or the anxious individual who just cant ask out that someone they know. Though much of what we do is fairly cerebral as we go about understanding our experience in life. It is our feelings that create the texture and strokes of the image we have created within ourselves.
This work is about who we are, and not necessarily what we do. For what we do is nearly the thermometer or temperature which gives us an idea of what is going on inside. When we are bound to the idea of doing we begin to take on this philosophy in life of “Oh I have to do this to be happy or content.” I am reminded of the individual who is anxiously shackled to a routine to make sure he gets what he wants. This work is about who you are. Personhood. We’ve all met those people that upon leaving them we knew there was something about them; peaceful, loving, accepting. It is my goal that you would begin moving into your potential as a human being, being one who carries a deep presence and sense of self within you. I offer a safe, comfortable space to process your feelings, and to begin toward change. Relationships have the power to hurt us, but it is also within relationships that we can be healed.